Last week I gave a presentation to a group of women on how to stop the negative self-talk. With all the nodding heads and words of appreciation expressed after, I realize this is an on-going problem that needs our constant attention until rectified.

Let me pose a few questions to you and see what answers pop up for you.

1. Do you criticize yourself?
2. Does your inner voice tell you you’re not good enough?
3. Is there ever a time you are good enough?
4. Are you your own worst enemy?
5. Do you find yourself stuck or running in circles instead of moving forward?

These are just a few of the things my audience told me runs through their minds on a daily basis. What are some things we do that fuel this fire? Things that come to mind are: immerse ourselves in work thinking if we work harder and faster it’ll all be better; overeat when we’re not hungry but want to squelch the pain we’re feeling inside; encounter stress at every turn in our daily routine; etc. You get my drift. We’re all running on this proverbial hamster wheel of life: going faster and faster yet not getting anywhere and allowing all the good things in our life to pass us by because we’re simply too focused on what we think is the golden carrot. Talk about stressful! I have a headache and am exhausted just thinking about it.

Here’s a reality check: YOU are creating the stress in your life! YOU are the reason you are stuck! No one is saying negative things to you, YOU are. So how do we stop the inner negative voice from holding us back? Is there truly a way to silence it? It can be as simple as changing the radio station if you don’t like a song that’s playing. You identify the message, acknowledge where/when it occurs and then replace it with a positive one. OK, now let’s delve a little deeper….

What is your core belief? How do you really feel about yourself? We spend our lives taking care of others. You owe it to yourself to take care of YOU. Look beyond your flaws and see the true beauty that is YOU. It is never too late to change.

Check out my September 1, 2010 ezine to learn more about how to silence your negative inner voice.

Go to www.appelbaumwellness.com to sign up – it’s FREE and takes just a minute.

How often do you get through the day feeling like you had no choices or options in regard to your actions? Were your decisions based on how often you said the words “should,” “have to,” or “need to?” Talk about draining and aggravating! Imagine what it might feel like if you simply changed your vocabulary to “want to” and “choose to.” Would you feel more in control and less of a victim?

This week I received an update on the condition of my Multiple Sclerosis. The MRI revealed continued increase in the activity of the MS translating to the fact that my medication simply is not doing what the doctors had hoped. My immediate response to this was very catabolic or negative. I’m doing everything in my power to stay healthy: exercise, eat right, take vitamins, practice healing prayer and administer my medication without fail. And yet I still am being victimized by this dreadful disease! Why me?  It’s simply not fair!  What a defeatist attitude I had as a knee-jerk reaction.  So what did I do about that?

With a little self-coaching, I shifted my thoughts to anabolic or healing energy realizing the MRI is only a picture of my brain. Clinically no one would ever guess I have MS. In fact, I danced for 2 straight hours at a wedding the other night without any problem (aside from sore feet due to high heels!).  I look perfectly fine.  I feel perfectly fine!  So in essence, everything I am doing to stay healthy is paying off.  Imagine what I might be like if I weren’t doing all the things that I am? I choose to remain confident that I am well!  I choose to fight this dreaded disease instead of become a victim of it.  When the FDA approves new medications that might be possible for my use, I will consider them. I don’t need to live my life in a certain fashion in order to be well; I choose to do so. OK – now put yourself in my shoes for just a minute to share the sense of freedom I have allowed myself. It’s refreshing!  You can feel this way too.

What’s going on in your life that is showing up as catabolic energy and causing you distress?  Imagine you are standing up and fighting back through a simple shift in words.  Keep in mind that when you positively shift your thinking, you shift your feelings and then you’re able to shift your actions, similarly.

Catabolic energy – good riddance! Anabolic energy – bring it on! 

When trying on clothes, how often do you ask, “does this make me look fat?”  What does your inner voice tell you?  Mine usually screams, “YES!!”  Often times, we have a little inside voice that starts yelling at us and stops us dead in our tracks when we’re trying to change for the better.  This is what’s called your “inner critic.”  It is a skeptic and saboteur of your life.  Regardless of what you name it, this inner critic (or Gremlin) remains an inner voice that can make us feel so badly about ourselves that it keeps us from growing and learning so as to lead the abundant life we desire.

What do you do when there's a song playing on the radio that you don't like?  Do you quickly change the station to one that is more appealing without even thinking?  What would your life be like if you used that same technique when the self-talk in your head starts playing negative loud chatter?  With the same automatic response, just change the station, or better yet, turn it off altogether.

How often does your Gremlin hold you back from feeling good about yourself?  Does it make you afraid to take risks?  Does it prevent you from thinking big?  If you’re nodding your head in agreement, are you willing to do something about it?

Now is the time to realize you have the Power in Choice. You can choose to listen to the Gremlin, believe it and stay stuck. Or, with a little bit of effort, try something different that will help quiet the negative self-talk. You can coach yourself and take some concrete action steps to begin to tame your Gremlin. 

Try these three easy steps:

1. Identify what the Gremlin is exactly saying to you. 
2. Acknowledge how the negative message has served you in the past.  Ask yourself if it is carrying over to the present.  Become aware of how the message is serving you today.
3. Replace the negative message with a positive one that allows you to move forward with your life.  You’ve identified and acknowledged your Gremlin so now you can begin to focus on reality versus what the Gremlin wants you to think.

We’re over halfway through the year. Have any of you thought about your 2010 New Year resolutions?  How many of you have kept them?  A quick show of hands please.  To the valiant few with hands raised, congratulations!  For the rest of us, don't despair.  New Year's resolutions are simply one way that we try to make our lives happier and healthier.  So how can we improve our chances of keeping them?

Every successful athlete has a coach who trains them, pushes them beyond their limitations and champions them to victory. Have you ever considered having a personal coach who will champion you to personal success, push you beyond your limiting beliefs, and hold you accountable to actions you choose to take without judgment?

During a coaching relationship you have the opportunity to:

• Clarify your vision and goals for your life, health and wellness
• Discuss & prioritize important areas of your life and how you can achieve balance
• Review limiting beliefs or fears that may be holding you back from your dreams
• Work on a specific issue or obstacle that is in your life right now
• Employ the unique Energy Leadership Index™ assessment & debrief to shift the way you respond to your life (attitude can change fact)

There is something powerful that happens via coaching when you share your dreams and goals with someone who is committed to helping you achieve them.  There is no limit to what you can do when you partner with someone who believes in you, supports you and listens to you without judgment. Some common results that others experience are increased confidence, focus, clarity, better decision-making, greater work - life balance, inspiration and support.

So what are you waiting for? Start feeling empowered!

Contact us today: info@appelbaumwellness.com.

Live out of state?  No problem – most coaching is conducted over the telephone so it is accessible to everyone!  Visit www.appelbaumwellness.com for more information.